The Back Story -Do Artist’s Paintings Change With Their Emotions?

I must say that I can certainly identify the periods of my life by the subject matter that ended up in my compositions. The ebb and flow of my emotion moved through the images. Of course, those were the pieces I created that were in free fall and only a few close and trusted friends ever saw them.
During that time I also painted portraits. They were the canvas that you could not see my emotions in. The encompassed the usual, dark backgrounds with images hidden in the distance and the beautiful man or women with the perfect skin tone rubbed into the linen with oil pigment and linseed. The ends of my fingers where stained with color, after a labor of love. The paintings were technically complete in every way. Everything my teacher taught me was on the canvas. The master’s words whispered in my ears when the brush touched the linen. When the painting was done you could hear a sigh of relief. I would step away and say, “Did I really paint that”?
After years of that, I reached another milestone, my feelings were clear. I was not painting what I wanted and if I really wanted a picture to look like a photo, I could take out the camera and snap one”. I asked myself,” Is that really art or just an illustration”? For me, I was hiding the real me, stifled, suffocating. I had to ask, was it not important to acknowledge what was happening within? Was it really necessary to mask the real me. If I was to become an important artist, wouldn’t I have to work hard to develop my own style? I guess these are all questions that all artists ask themselves early in life. So yes, I think artists must use their emotions to help them grow and for the most part, the magnificent artists that I have been lucky enough to have personally met pour their emotions into the canvas.
Years later, things became more subtle. My style has developed and my work is easily identifiable. The things that change and continue to evolve are color and shapes. I plan a foundation for structure so you can still make out the water, or a tree, or an image. They symbolize the attached gold strands that let me float out of the box so I can always find my way back home. The rest of the art piece is created in the moment. If I feel like letting go with a wide brush stroke, I do. If I feel like a blob of yellow (my favorite color) then I let go. I guess it is because I am absolutely sure that that blob is going to end up being a masterpiece. If not there is always that bonfire outback. As a career artist, the important thing is to be me and be free!!!